Sex “through I do not want.” Refuse or agree?
“They have one thing in mind – sex!” Usually they say that about men. Women, however, after they returned from work and “dealt” with trivial household chores, are often not up to it.
Did not add bright colors to family life and the fallen global crisis. On the contrary – exacerbated existing problems. Do you have sex ? But men demand their own. I called myself a wife – do conjugal duty. How to be? Step over yourself and give in to your husband or reject your husband’s offer, explaining that there is neither the strength nor the desire to make love?
For sexologists, this sex problem is not new and has long been studied. Their experience will help to draw the right conclusions.
Scientists say that after five years of marriage, only 4 out of 10 sexual contacts can really be called desirable. Intimacy for a woman can become not only due to fatigue or physical malaise. It is no secret that women are creatures that are emotional and sophisticated. Therefore, any trifle can affect desire. Men think in a completely different way. For most of them, sex is a vital need. The basic Instinct.
For a woman, the main thing in marriage is a good relationship in the family. For her, the attention signs of her husband and sympathy are important. It excites her and sets up for sexual relations. If a woman does not feel any of this, then there is no desire for intimacy. The husband, in turn, considers this a female whim, a desire to remake it, refusing sex. “Sex wars” of this kind very often end with a man on the side finding girls who are ready to satisfy his sexual fantasies without any problems.
It is not true that men only leave their aged and ugly wives. They are repelled by indifference and routine. The sense of abandonment makes them doubt their manpower and they are looking for women who will restore their former confidence and psychological comfort.
Why is a wife who, at the beginning of her family life, making love with pleasure, now pushing her husband into the arms of another woman with her behavior?
Problems and sex
Sex has lost its former charm. He used to bring a lot of joy to both. Just thinking about him made my heart contract sweetly. And now the passion has vanished. Everything is predictable and ordinary: a shower, a book or a TV, a comfortable bed, a “kiss on duty” kiss and – back to back. The rules of decency are respected by the phrase familiar to everyone: “Something hurt my head.”
The fact is that women in marriage cool faster than men. The main reason is a life that mercilessly “kills” the romance of relationships. After all, there is so much to do in a day that the head really is spinning!
But men are not able to understand why women do not want to “relax” and have fun at the end of the day. You can put aside anything, but not sex. Probably, from the point of view of men, this is indeed so. And with the female? Is it always necessary to concede?
Four justified no
Unwanted intimacy affects the female body. Sex “through I do not want” has its negative consequences. We list four main ones.
1. Forced sex can dull sensations. A woman will cease to distinguish real desires from forced ones. Intimacy with a spouse becomes boring, and thoughts about her become unpleasant. The result is dissatisfaction with oneself, life, and depression.
2. Decreases libido. Making love for a woman becomes a duty. She tries to avoid her under any pretext. It is clear that she can often have sex, and rarely want to do it. The result is frigidity. There is a belief that only men need sex, and they need a woman mainly as an object for sex.
3. Gynecological problems appear. If there is an orgasm, then the reproductive system works, and the woman is healthy. If it is not, then stagnation of blood occurs in the pelvic organs, and all kinds of gynecological diseases occur.
4. A woman loses attractiveness. After all, after the desired proximity, a woman glows from the inside. By her facial expression, you can understand that she is happy. And if she forces herself to have sex, then she looks “dull.” The mood is always depressed. Irritability grows, apathy for everything appears.
What to do? How to be
Sometimes you really need to say no. You can not have sex when there is no desire. However, if such a condition is delayed, measures must be taken. Try turning on your imagination. Imagine. After all, when the fantasy ends, sex becomes unwanted.
And it’s not at all necessary to leave making love for later. All the affairs can not be redone anyway. It’s better to pay more attention not to things, but to relationships. Tell yourself more often: “This is my beloved man. I fell in love with him many years ago. ”
Love is work. The work of two. So work on health, understand and love each other.