How to change?
Leaving aside the discussion that there is a betrayal for each person, we will talk about treason as an integral part of life together. Why “inalienable”? The author already hears the cries of angry readers: “Yes, I! Never in my life! ” But let’s look at the types of treason, and only after that we will count our wounds.
Part 1. Theoretical.
So, adultery can be classified into the following species (and subspecies).
1. Treason is classic. An affair starts on the side. So serious that this love differs from the main relationship only in the absence of a stamp in the passport and official announcement to relatives and friends. The couple has a common house, common children, a common wallet, common pastime. Usually a woman in such a pair considers herself a “wife”, although men – according to statistics – seem to be single.
It is possible to consider betrayal as a subspecies without acquiring a common household and common children, but having regularity in relations, lasting quite a long time, fueled by the promises “now I’ll divorce, and you and I will really heal”. Sometimes this happens. Then from the rank of betrayal, relations pass into a series of official relations, and our article is already uninteresting.
2. Cheating is random. Also known to the world under the term “spa romance.” A change of scenery, southern wine in the head, a handsome man in swimming trunks (well, or a beautiful woman in a bikini) – the morning meets a heavy head and in an unfamiliar bed. In the classic version, it lasts until the end of the resort voyage, leaving pleasant memories behind. With the continuation of acquaintance outside the marine environment, it most often ends in disappointment in a handsome (or beautiful) woman. Cheating is not burdensome, but you can’t consider it the best view from the left to the top because of prevalence. It is very likely that you will be accused of treason, even if you have lain alone on the beach for all two weeks of vacation, without taking your eyes off the horizon. The very fact of relaxing alone is serious evidence.
A service affair that happened after a corporate party on New Year’s Day can also be considered a subspecies of adultery. Its peculiarity is the impossibility to say with accuracy whether there was something wrong with that colleague (that colleague), and whether you really used the pantry for storing brooms as a place for an intimate meeting.
3. Cheating on official need. You can’t take it as a betrayal, because it ’s like collecting information for a new job. Spanked the seal – received a new position. Feature: performed exclusively on a sober head (both literally and figuratively), feelings and emotions are not included in the process. Well, maybe the negative ones.
A subspecies of this type of treason can be considered the option of “treason as necessary.” Say, the official half went on a long trip (short vacation), and the nature of the lonely character strongly demands its own. Or the official half prefers to sleep in a cot for a month, perhaps for educational purposes. Then betrayal becomes a necessity. In especially neglected cases, it can go into the category of “classic treason”.
4. The betrayal of the experimental. Most often it is used by people, as they say, “not crazy about youth.” Having poor life experience in communicating with the opposite sex , they fell in love even in kindergarten, faithfully passed all school years by the pen, got married right after graduation. And suddenly a seditious thought comes to my mind: was the choice wrong? What if carrot is sweeter in another garden ?! And a series of experiments comes. This type of betrayal is most often disguised as a “random betrayal”. Usually passes without a trace because of the realization that “carrots are the same everywhere.” Although it enriches with life (including sexual) experience.
5. Treason is virtual. No, I’m not talking about the form of cheating when you turn on the computer, climb into specialized sites and look at pictures using improvised tools. This is just a subspecies of this species. Virtually change everything. That is why in the introductory part the phrase “an integral part of our life” was used. So you looked at a pretty pedestrian, you thought, “What is he like in bed?” – and virtually changed their official half. And they bought a couple of films marked XXX, watched the movie masterpieces, aroused by what they saw – and again, they virtually changed it. Not to mention the fact that they looked into the shower not so much to wash themselves, but to relax a little with their soul and body (in the phrase logical emphasis falls on the word “body” …). Any thoughts and actions that are not related to the official half can be considered treason.
One can also consider flirting with a new colleague, excitement when reading romance novels / looking at porn magazines, and erotic dreams, and bed fantasies, where the character suspiciously looks like a stairwell neighbor – all these are virtual treason. Virtual treason is good because no one will ever know about it. It gives a sense of the diversity of sexual life, although, of course, cannot replace real betrayal. Most often, it remains only in the head, although under a certain set of circumstances it can go into the forms indicated under paragraphs 1-4.
Well, which of the readers can sincerely say that he never, never changed virtually? .. I’m afraid that no one. Another question is whether he considers his erotic fantasies a betrayal …
Part 2. Practical.
Before proceeding to the act of treason, you need to be clearly aware of all its pros and cons. Examine the two lists.
List 1. What are the main advantages of treason (of any kind)? “You know the world in all its diversity.” – Your life ceases to be boring in its monotony and predictability. “Your adrenaline rises in your blood, which helps to increase your mood.” – Your life experience is enriched with numerous technical details and refinements. – Increases self-esteem. – Basic relationships are being strengthened. – Positive effect on appearance.
List 2. Now about the disadvantages of treason. – If you have a well-developed conscience, you can be tormented by its remorse, and then all the positive moments of treason are reduced to zero. – In the event of a betrayal, the official half may refuse to be one, as a result you will remain “on the beans” and you will have to bitterly admit that the game was not worth the candle. – In case of non-observance of safety rules there may be consequences for physical health. Although this is easy to avoid, it is still necessary to mention the disadvantages in the section . – In the absence of a skill of treason, you can inspire the informal half of false hopes. And then you can lose control of the situation.
The rules of good treason.
For starters: what is “good cheating”? This is a betrayal that has all the advantages listed in list number 1 (see above), and does not have a single drawback from list number 2 (see above). Based on this, you can derive the rules.
1. Treason must be committed solely by the good will of the betrayer.
2. Treason must be well prepared. It should have clear goals (to refresh the sexual experience, get the main role in advertising gaskets, avenge the wrong). It must be accomplished with the one for whom these goals are defined no less clearly, and which has no far-reaching plans for a change.
3. Treason must be well camouflaged. The hardest thing is to disguise the spa romance. Therefore, do not change during the holidays. It is better to carve out for this time on weekdays, finding a convincing justification for their absence from the workplace and at home.
4. Treason must be limited in time. Achieving this goal cannot last for years. A month or two is enough to develop the necessary dose of adrenaline. And to end the betrayal is best on the highest note – in order to subsequently recall the ecstasy of ecstasy, and not the bitterness of the cooled coffee.
5. Treason must bear fruit. In order not to be excruciatingly ashamed of the energy spent unnecessarily, conclusions must be drawn. Is the goal achieved ? Is the official half left in careless ignorance? Is a repetition of experience required ?
6. Treason should bring only positive emotions. To all parties involved. Even if one of the parties is not aware that she is involved in treason (I’m talking about ignorance of the official half). In the end, everyone should be satisfied. You and the one with whom you are conducting an act of treason – with all its virtues (see list number 1 above). Your official half (and the official half of that / the one with whom you are committing an act of treason) is that you suddenly become so emotional and beautiful, energetic and inventive.
If you feel that you are unable to cope with the process of treason, that you will want to fall at the feet of the changeable and admit to him everything (by the way, an extremely erroneous tactic!), Then you should not even start. Stop on the form of “virtual treason”, then the wolves will be full, and the sheep are intact.