7 sex toys that celebrities make (though they wish they didn’t)
There is an absolute obsession with celebrities in modern culture. We have reached the stage where watching movies, listening to albums, and collecting newspaper clippings is no longer enough. Absolutely crazy ideas were used. Now fans dream of making idols an integral part of their lives, moreover, they want to make love to them.
It is quite normal to imagine popular actors and musicians in your sexual fantasies, or at least most of the celebrities. As long as the celebrity remains moderately attractive, starring in blockbusters or releasing hits one after another, there will always be those who want to spend a hot night with him. Some enterprising celebrities have drawn attention to the simple biological needs of the fan audience. One day they started releasing their sex toys. The stars decided to present the greatest gift to the public – a piece of themselves.
The rating below contains not very successful intimate products. The thought involuntarily creeps in that such products were invented by people who are sick in the head. It should be noted that some toys were officially released, while others are supplied to the market by independent companies. I promise, what you see on the screen will amaze you to the core.
1. Vibrators from Motorhead
The list of official merch from renowned rockers is almost endless. Among the licensed products you will find skateboards, coffee mugs, Christmas decorations, all of excellent quality. But the managers felt that the collection of souvenirs would not be complete without sexy paraphernalia. Under the Motorhead label, they began to offer two whole models of vibrators, named after the famous songs of the group – “Ace of Spades” and “Overkill”.
Check out the ad for the 7-speed Ace of Spades: “Oh yes, baby! Imagine I shoot you, a super-large-caliber bullet enters your body hard. The powerful vibration from the turbo engine makes you squeal with excitement. It is enough just to insert and you will be covered with a wave of unforgettable pleasure. ” I respect the late Lemmy, but in intimate moments I hate to imagine an old rocker shooting my crotch.
2. Butt plug “George W. Bush”
A lot of people continue to hate the retired US president. But, after I saw this device, doubts arose – maybe haters really love politics very much, if they decide to let it into the holy of holies of their body. The butt plug with the delicately carved face of George is a real brain tear. How can people even use this item? Perhaps, while you are reading this article, someone in the world is sitting tightly on Bush. Sounds intimidating, doesn’t it?
3. Doll Miley Cyrus
The reckless pop diva never ceases to amaze. It would seem, what new can an extravagant beauty throw out, but not – the limits of human idiocy are limitless. She released a doll especially for Hannah Montana fans. What’s the catch? The fact is that Miley was filmed on the Disney Channel at the age of 14, so it is difficult to call the product socially acceptable.
The accusations of promoting pedophilia forced the representatives of the star to absolve themselves of all responsibility. A clever typo in the name appeared on the box (Mylie instead of Miley) and the product was declared fake. Amazingly, the toy was never discontinued.
4. Ejaculation wipes from Tenacious D
For those who have forgotten, Tenacious D is the musical collective of comedian Jack Black. To put it mildly, not too sexy fat men with thin fat hair fell in love with the audience in the comedies “School of Rock”, “Soldiers of Failure” and the 2015 family film “Horror”. It’s funny to watch an unsympathetic guy with a peanut butter on a T-shirt, who perkly dances and grimaces in the style of Jim Carrey.
Back to Tenacious D’s products, how should unicorn and rainbow printed soft pink napkins made of soft special fabrics set the average man to masturbate? And this I did not take into account the fact that two incredibly scary men produce sex products. Are people paying money to ejaculate on Jack Black’s napkin?
5. Sex kit from Ghost BC
Swedish doom metal band Ghost BC are remembered for their satanic paraphernalia. The musicians appear on stage wearing creepy masks (Slipknot and they nervously smoke on the sidelines). Adequate homosapiens are not too eager to associate their sexual experience with occult musicians. For the rest, Ghost BC produces special erotic sets.
In a beautiful wooden box imitating the Holy Scriptures, fans will find a candle, a dildo depicting a vocalist dressed as a Pope, and a steel butt plug. Anti-religious – yes, shocking – yes, exciting – no!
6. Snooki’s rubber doll
Nicole Snooki Polizzi rose to fame after the MTV show “The Beach” (originally titled “Jersey Shore”). The little girl stood out for her scandalous behavior and aggressive statements about others. At the beginning of her career, she received 5 thousand dollars per episode, and then the bar rose to 30 thousand dollars.
Technically, the product is positioned as a universal doll for a fan in love. However, the picture on the package makes it clear that nothing good will be inside the box. First, the model is just slightly similar to Snooki. Secondly, what’s wrong with her face? Was it really impossible to find a girl without clear signs of mental retardation? Another small question – who made up the slogans? “Play the fuck with her slit” (literal-free translation) – only a fan completely disappointed with life will decide to buy such a toy. Unsurprisingly, Amazon only assigned one star to the doll.
7. Exclusive vibrator from Eurythmics
Dave Stewart, a member of the wildly popular Eurythmics in the 90s, decided to keep up with his colleagues. In the old days, he was considered the ancestor of the musical culture of a whole generation, but even then the guy was hard to call a sex symbol. Perhaps Dave associates men with good wine, which only gets better over the years. I dare to upset him, sometimes you open a bottle, and inside is vinegar.
A steel vibrator encrusted with black diamonds from a 56-year-old musician costs a tidy sum (1,400 bucks). The feature of the product is the lyrics from the Eurythmics songs, inscribed by Stewart’s hand. Either the age is not the same, or the price has gone too far, but the goods are still stale on the shelves of sex shops.
Humanity loves to make love, so many business people try to speculate on the basic instinct. As practice shows, sometimes the finished product does not live up to expectations. I want to scream, guys, stop embarrassing yourself and get down to business. Instead of selling disgusting sex toys, make a new movie, write an album, or at worst start cross-stitching (they say it calms down and kills a lot of time).