Greetings from sex shops: what to look for if you are visiting an adult store for the first time

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Greetings from sex shops: what to look for if you are visiting an adult store for the first time

If you have never looked into a sex shop, we even envy you. You have an exciting journey ahead of you through a rich assortment of modern adult stores.

Are you not one of the conservatives who make love strictly in the allotted time under the covers with the lights off? Are you sure that there has always been sex, and especially in the USSR? The word “penis” does not cause you a storm of indignation and is not accompanied by a bashfully downcast gaze? Do you not support the opinion that all evil and debauchery in modern society stems from sex shops and their visitors? Do not understand why spend taxpayers’ money on the maintenance of the commission on morality? Congratulations, then you are definitely a potential (or existing) customer of adult stores!

If everything is exactly the opposite, and your answers are exactly the opposite, then double congratulations! This means that you only have to make an unexpected revolution in your worldview and for the first time step over the mysterious threshold. And trying something for the first time is always pleasant, exciting and exciting.

And to figure out what to look for among the rich assortment of modern “strawberries”, we will gladly help you in this article.

Into our advanced 21st century

Grandfather Freud spent his entire life trying to prove to mankind the importance of sex as an integral and unshakable part of life, which sometimes even subconsciously manages to control the behavior of a seemingly intelligent homo sapiens. Let me remind you, it was back in the last century.

Nowadays, advanced people calmly discuss the intimate side of life in a loud voice in a cafe (or other public place). Erotica from TV screens, computer monitors, pages of magazines with candid photos also flows like that. So why, in our advanced 21st century, it still seems shameful for many to look into a sex shop at least once, and for a man who makes dirty jokes in the company of friends, his wife still has to prove that he will not be considered a pervert at all if they buy sex -accessory?

Such reflections whirled in my head for the first time a couple of years ago, when my friend and I, out of curiosity, looked into the “strawberry” store, located next to the shoe store, where we were looking for sandals. Until this time, I already got acquainted with the fun assortment, buying a friend an extraordinary gift-souvenir for his birthday (when a friendly festive company saw a gift, the friend automatically turned into an object for jokes for the next couple of years). But a friend of the same age turned out to be from a different test. After a few minutes, her eyes began to slowly widen until they were equal in diameter to 5-kopeck coins. Artificial phalluses looked at us from all sides from their cozy nests behind the glass windows. It amused me, and my friend could not restrain her emotions and commented from the bottom of her heart: “Well, disgusting!”. The insulted woman-consultant remarked to the depths of her soul: “If your genitals seem disgusting, you better go to the bakery!” After the bewildered remark of a friend: “Well, you compared – dicks and buns!” we could no longer contain the loud laughter. I had to hastily retreat from the “crime scene.” But the surprise at the ineradicable conservatism of even the younger generation remains with me to this day.

Sex product sellers are human too

My husband and I love to stroll through the grocery stores. Even if we are not going to buy anything. Such walks inwardly liberate, awaken imagination, inspire new erotic accomplishments with a loved one and (what is already there!) Perfectly cheer you up with their sometimes completely unexpected and unpredictable assortment. And since we are not only relaxed, but also sociable people, during such promenades we love to chat with sales assistants. About sex, people and life in general. And usually intelligent smiling women who have heard so many unusual questions and orders over the years of their work that you are unlikely to surprise them with anything are usually selling “depraved” goods.

Judging by the stories of consultants, the demand for intimate goods is stable. And there are hundreds of online versions of stores for those who are embarrassed to say the word “vibrator” when looking into the eyes of a live seller! But what is the interest in ordering a product without first feeling it, without trying it on for yourself (I’m talking about erotic lingerie now)?


So, you still dared to look behind the tight curtain, which usually hides the entrance to the abode of sexual looseness from the eyes of minors (not to be confused with debauchery!). Congratulations: you will feel like Alice in Wonderland. From a heap of multi-colored underwear and a variety of dildos, eyes simply run up.

Scarlet vibrator – small vibrator?

Welcome to a kingdom ruled by artificial penises! At least, these are the thoughts that arise when you realize that they are all turned to the visitors, like flowers to the sun. And they are all different. You will be shown a pocket version, decorated with rhinestones (really someone wears a glamorous vibrator to parties in a clutch?), And “slingshots” (for double pleasure), and “hedgehogs” with pimples and dots, and “naturel” (a copy of a live the original looks and feels, as the manufacturers assure), and Negroid giants. From the sight of the latter, a chill ran down my spine. Just in case, I asked the seller if this was a working option. It turned out quite. They’re as long as my elbow! The answer of the saleswoman can be applauded: “So there are young ladies who are spoiled …”.

What and for whom is it needed

The prices of the buzzing “muzumero” depend on the material and bells and whistles of the gadget in addition to the main function. The most expensive material is cybersilicone, which is practically indistinguishable to the touch from a living body. The most advanced vibrator we saw was a German-made unit (das ist fantastish!): Silky surface texture, artificial gilding on the handle (although this is clearly superfluous), silent vibration, the ability to recharge a sex gadget from a usb connector (and not worry that batteries will run out at the most crucial moment). Progress does not stand still!

True, consultants do not hide the fact that they rarely buy such bells and whistles. This is understandable: the artificial phallus will buzz and buzz, it will complete its task, but after (and during) the act of passion, it will not hug the lady, will not kiss and whisper tenderness in the ear. So why pay more? True, affection and tenderness, and living men are not all endowed with the necessary measure. According to the consultants, husbands often come in for such goods, who often go on business trips and are worried that their wife does not go on a spree with a neighbor. Better – with a vibrator.

But rubber women remain the heroines of numerous anecdotes. There is little eroticism in them, they look unnatural, they are expensive. They are taken only by men who, for various reasons, do not have live communication with the opposite sex. All the fault can be both deep psychological complexes and the physical impossibility of full sexual contact. One of the saleswomen once said that the mother of a young disabled guy who could not satisfy his physical needs in the traditional way bought a sex doll in their store. And you can’t hide them anywhere … So sex shops are not only fun, they sometimes perform serious social functions.

BDSM goods: when to add pepper

A separate showcase in a sex shop is usually occupied by a showcase with BDSM paraphernalia. Previously, only sophisticated connoisseurs looked at it, but after the furore produced by “50 shades of gray”, the demand for BDSM products has increased dramatically. Lashes, whips, leather stacks, collars, handcuffs, gags in the mouth, belts, nipple clips (I dared to put only my finger under them – and he turned blue …) – all this wealth (and some other things on order) awaits simple mortals haunted by the laurels of Christian Gray or the medieval Inquisition.

The whole world is a theater, and the games in it are role-playing

Another classic of the genre is to pay attention to costumes for role-playing games. Well, what man does not enjoy home erotic theater and the embodiment of fantasies about forbidden sex with a naughty nurse or a strict teacher?

Vaginal and anal beads

Something that will never go out of fashion – vaginal and anal balls of all colors and sizes. There are also completely incomprehensible erotic toys in sex shops, which can only be guessed about the purpose and correct use after reading the instructions. So do not hesitate to ask the cute saleswoman questions if you like something!

You can even buy a holiday gift here.

Lubricants (lubricants) with various effects, perfume with pheromones, massage oils can be presented to your half.

Friends with a sense of humor can be given “naked” aprons (for a couple), headphones in the form of a woman’s breast, a plush heating pad with the same lush ladies’ charms, a baking dish in the form of male genitals, soft slippers with invitingly protruding penises that sway when every step, souvenir condoms in the form of hearts, hedgehogs, birches and much more like that. It is not a fact that it will come in handy on the farm, but they will remember your violent imagination for a long time.

So the devil is not so terrible as he is painted. The main thing is not to be embarrassed when you first visit the “shop of miracles” and try not to get carried away too much later if you get a taste for it. Because situations are different. Here, in the end, a quote from one of the saleswomen of intimate goods will be just in place: “What can people not think of so that they themselves do not wrestle at the machine!”.

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