Why, when women do not want sex, do they have a headache?
The phrase “headache” in the rejection of sex has become so common that it has long and firmly entered into urban folklore. And here the head, if it is about sex – they are not engaged in the head, sorry for the involuntary associations.
Moreover, in fact, doctors just recommend making love with headaches – the vessels expand, and the spasm in the brain is relieved. A lot of jokes and jokes about the relationship of analgin and sex would not have appeared out of the blue – certainly the problem is quite common in everyday life …
But, as many women know, in the vast majority of cases the reason is not just that, and “headache” is just an excuse. Often it happens – you just don’t feel like it, you’re tired, there’s no mood, it’s not that hormonal period, your temperaments don’t coincide, thoughts are occupied by others – problems at work, illnesses of children, but whatever – well, I don’t want sex, and that’s it! Sometimes it happens that a man loses his novelty, freshness and attractiveness over time, especially after many years of marriage, and you don’t want to go to bed specifically with him.
Now let’s look at the problem in a different way: why women can not directly admit the lack of sexual desire? Why can’t you just say: “I don’t want, and that’s it”? Or “I do not like your three-day stubble, bad breath and fat belly, I do not want you anymore (I do not want you today)”? Why do they have to lie about a mythical headache when the true reason lies completely different?
It is believed that a woman is easy – in order to have sexual intercourse, she does not need to have an erection, just lie down, “close her eyes and think about England” – the famous winged expression. The heyday of all kinds of trainings “Mastery of oral sex as a way to improve karma” or “Train the muscles of the vagina – solve all your problems”, “Love anal sex and achieve happiness and enlightenment” – all this intensifies the atmosphere even more, creating the impression that a woman should to want always, everywhere and in all poses, and if she does not want , she is some kind of wrong woman.
At the same time, it’s enough for the man to say “I’m tired”, and all the questions disappear by themselves – he worked all day, had the right to get tired, solved world problems or loaded boxes. Yes, and the appearance of women (this is by the way about the unattractiveness of a partner) is subject to much greater demands – most likely, if a man refuses to have sex, the woman will only blame herself – she is not beautiful enough, slim or depilated, or the muscles of the vagina are not so trained, or even aged . Or didn’t create a decent intimate atmosphere, passions, sex toys of handcuffs!
Oddly enough, the problem of “headache” lies in education. Society expects from women patience, forgiveness, concern for the needs of others in the first place, and then about themselves – if they remain strong. If there is no strength left, and the man wants to make love, then how can a woman refuse sex – after all, she can upset a man! Or he can find one that he will always want, and go to her! If you tell him that he looks bad and sexually unattractive – you can offend him or even insult him! Is it possible – after all, not a stranger’s husband, his own, I feel sorry for him!
Therefore, you have to lie, dodge and get out the most anecdotal ways. Moreover , many women are so unaccustomed to taking care of themselves that in the hustle and bustle of care for others they can’t even admit to themselves that they don’t like something, that they need to relax, take care of themselves, listen to their desires and so on . Therefore, in order to justify her unwillingness, it is easier for a woman to lie than to express the true reason and cause a dissonance, laid down on a subconscious level.
But constantly lying about a sore head is not an option, because discontent in a pair still does not disappear anywhere, accumulates and grows, causing problems and illnesses. Of course, it is not easy to admit your true desires, first of all, to yourself – but do you have to do something about this?
After the first time it will become easier – and there, you see, it will work out and agree, and solve the problem, and find a compromise. And, you see, over time, the phrase “headache” will become – on the contrary! – a call for sex (as recommended by doctors).